Mighty to Save By: Hillsong

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

My Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus


Today a friend of mine told me how much they respect me for faith. At first I was flattered but then I started thinking about it. There is really nothing right now that anyone should respect about my faith. That sounds harsh and scary but seriously. Today I came to the sickening realization that I have not been living for God the past few months. But WHY?! I tear apart my mind to think of an excuse and the best I could come up with is that, "I just haven't been in the 'the mood' to be all spiritual and I have been so busy" How selfish is that?! God should not be a mood, He should be my lifestyle. I want to read the Bible! But every time I do, I don't know what to read and I feel like I am reading it just to feel good about myself.

Then I started thinking about what Joe would always remind us at CIT Bible studies. "In 10 years, a good fraction of the staff right now probably won't be following Christ." That could be ME! It kills me to think that but with the direction I've been headed, it wouldn't surprise me.

"Oh but G-mo," You may say, "When we've seen you, you seem like you are doing great!" That is exactly it! I am two-faced. I put on 1 face in front of camp friends and church friends and then another when i'm with my school friends or even by myself.

Answer me this: Why am I so brutally killing myself and how can I be rescued?